Hello dear ones!
As you probably know, the Jewish New Year - Rosh HaShana - is quickly approaching and I wanted to share some things that the impending new year has brought up for me.
First is a reminder that despite my ongoing Hebrew frustrations, I really am learning a new language. This became evident to me when I realized that until this year I knew that Rosh HaShana (pronounced Rush-uh-shun-uh by my friends and family) was the new year, but I did not know that in Hebrew Rosh means "head", Sha means "year" and Ha means "the" - Head (beginning) of The Year! This is obviously just a small example, but I'm starting to see it everywhere. Another example: my iTunes library was on Shuffle the other day and an old Hebrew camp song came on. In the place of the foreign sounds that I used to mimic from hearing the song over and over again were actual words that I understood! Pretty exciting.
The second thing has more to do with the meaning and traditions of Rosh HaShana:
The past month that I've been here I've been participating in a Jewish learning program that consists of lectures and one hour learning sessions with a partner. It is organized by a lovely Orthodox couple and they basically pay you to come learn Judaism. Now I know that this likely sends up the "Brainwashing Potential" red flag for a lot of you, but I'll remind you that my atheist upbringing has created a veeerryy thick wall of skepticism, and that my private school education has instilled in me the importance of critical thinking. So fear not, I am simply trying to learn more about Judaism while I live here in the Jewish homeland.
So. Last week we had a lecture about Rosh HaShana, and I learned some new and interesting things. Forgive me for the lesson on Talmud that follows, but it is essential in order for me to explain what I am thinking about regarding the new year. Important note: I do not claim to be an expert on Jewish text or interpretations of the Torah. What follows is my best effort at paraphrasing what this particular woman taught in her lecture, which I'm sure is one understanding of many. Okay. The lecture started out with the teacher explaining that Rosh HaShana is not only considered the first day of the new year, but also the first day of all of creation. This is to say that the Earth is created over again every year on this day. Insert skepticism here. Anyway Rosh HaShana also happens to be the day on which G-d passes judgment on all people. This leads us to the baffling question: "On what can we be judged on the first day of the year and of creation? We haven't done anything yet!" And the question: "Why is the first day of the new year BEFORE we repent for our wrongdoings of the last year (Yom Kippur)? Isn't that backwards?!" The lecturer explained that on this day G-d is not judging us on what we've done in the past year, but rather on what we plan to do in the coming year. She explained that on Rosh HaShana G-d asks us to momentarily put aside the wrongs that we committed in the last year and start with a fresh planning slate. She said that this is important because if you go to the planning stage with the burden of your various failures from the past year, you'll think to yourself, "Well I clearly screwed it all up last year, I'm obviously a loser, what's the point in making a wonderful plan this year if there's no way I can succeed?!" I like this idea. Put aside your failures for a minute, give yourself the benefit of the doubt, and allow yourself to think about who you want to be, how you want to behave, what goals you want to reach in the next year. Then, in the days between Rosh HaShana and Yom Kippur, pick up your bag of wrongdoings and repent, apologize, make good on your mistakes. Kinda neat.
The problem with this particular lecturer is that she wanted us to plan our entire lives. She asked us to think about where we want to be in 5, 10, 15, 20 years and analyze whether or not our current actions are helping us get closer to those goals. To me, that's nuts. My lovely mother prohibits me from planning too far in advance, she says it makes us anxious to do this and prevents us from being present in the here and now. I think my mother a very wise woman, and try not to let every daily decision be dictated by how I think it will effect my life in the next 5 years. However. I do think it's cool to think about your goals and whether or not the way you're living is helping to bring you closer to them or farther away from them. So this is what I plan to do, and encourage you to do if you're so moved, in the days leading up to Rosh HaShana:
Make a list of goals. They don't have to be the Big Goals, but they could be. Beneath each goal, write the simple things that you could be doing to help move towards the desired outcome. Then evaluate whether or not you're doing those things. This doesn't necessarily mean that you have to change your behavior and do all of the things you think of on your list, I just think it would be pretty neat to be intentional and informed about what I'd like to do and who I'd like to be in the coming year.
If I feel so inclined, maybe I'll share my list with you when it's completed!
שנה טובה לכל אחד וחג שמח!!!!! (happy new year to everyone and happy holiday!)
Lots of Love
Kate
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You are deep, my dear. Keep exploring and searching for understanding, I think it will certainly enrich your experience and your life.
ReplyDeleteI've never been a writing down goals person, although all the books about how to be successful will tell you that people who write down their goals are much more likely to achieve them than people who don't. I think I've never been all that sure at any particular time what I wanted to be doing or to have achieved three or five or however many years in the future. But perhaps that's just an excuse.
I do know that at least in the past 10 or so years, the things that have given me the most satisfaction are things that were unexpected and that I don't believe I could have planned for.
But perhaps the kinds of goals you have in mind or could have in mind are not ones like "I want to be going to such and such a school," or "I want to have such and such a type of job." Perhaps they are more like goals for the kind of person you want to be, the ways in which you want to treat others and be treated by them, the stance you want to take as you confront the world.
In any case, keep writing, I love the blog and admire all that you are doing.